I am a lazy person. Just look at my lawn. The neighbors pass our home and shake their heads, feeling they must express their opinion about my lawn. Usually beginning with "It's a shame," I know what that means. Along the same lines as "bless your heart," Maybe someone will pray for my lawn? Dear lord, please send this man power! Motorized power! Maybe a 72" zero-turn mower? Lawnmowers from Heaven! That would be so fricken cool! I could sell it and buy a new car! Bless my little Yankee heart! I never understood these perfect lawns. What's wrong with dandelions? They taste pretty good. And what the fuck is crabgrass? I happen to like weeds. Some are quite tasty and have pretty flowers. We have a bunny who comes out in the evenings to eat the clover on our lawn. An adorable little bunny! Lawnmowers from Heaven could be the next book I write! But I have to write the first one. Oh, I have it all planned out. The first one will be called...